The Odd Number

I am so tired of this routine. Yes, my "life" had been reduced to just that.

Every Monday, I have to wake up at 9AM (that is, if I CAN) so that I could get prepared for my ENERCON class from 1030-1130. I would walk a block or so to where the jeepneys are and I would ride at the driver's side so that I would not bother other passengers with my smoke. When I arrive in school, I would usually rush to the 3rd floor of the Velasco building to get to my seat. I am usually a half hour late for this class. At 1130, I would descend the stairs and proceed to Agno for  another shot of my daily dose of nicotine. If there are no engagements with people, I would proceed to thee Malate office, where I usually stay waiting for my 340 class. Just before 340, I would go back to Agno before I hurry off to my room in V310. After the class, it's Agno and then back to Velasco. At 440, this same routine happens again. At around 7PM, I would walk from my class to Agno, then to Estrada for a siopao and glass of gulaman, and then to work at Cara Celine, where I usually stay til the wee hours of the morning. If I'm lucky, I would be able to catch a jeepney ride home. Otherwise, I would have to walk the entire length (well, almost) of Vito Cruz just to get to my bed. And that's how I end my Mondays, on Tuesdays.

My Tuesday class is on at 930AM. Meaning, it is a big challenge for me to get up for that. Add to that the fact that the next class doesn't start until 6PM. Yeah, I bum around SPS again during the loooooong break. That is, if I'm not on duty at the SFA office. At 7PM again, I follow the same path to Cara Celine. And then I end my Tuesdays on Wednesdays.

On Wednesdays, I usually follow the Monday schedule. So that's pretty much a cycle inside a cycle. A sub-cycle, if there is such a word.

Thursdays are pretty much similar to Tuesdays except that I am only inside the classroom from 6PM-7PM. That means, I sometimes stay in Cara Celine until Thursday mornings. Then, I sleep until noon and I'm off to school again.

Fridays, on the other hand, are practically carbon copies of Mondays and Wednesdays except that I am "free" from 450-550. Oh, I usually stay in the office until early Saturday mornings. So long for my so-called social "life".

On Saturdays, I usually bum around the house. But these don't last for long. I am restless when I'm inside my room. I usually go out to buy some stuff for my brother and I when I am not summoned over to Cara Celine.

Sundays are quite similar to Sundays. Sundays are boring. But sometimes, I am also at work.

So there, except for a few exceptions, this is basically what a week is for me. Sum up these weeks and you'll have a pretty good idea of what my "life" is like as of now, a never-ending cycle.

By the way, when It's not prohibited or while I'm on the road, I usually have my Music Player or my Radio on. I'm so sick of this, and I quote Incubus, "sick, sad, little world," unquote.

Have I answered your question? I have, as a matter of fact. I am not going to work today because I want to break out from this cycle and it's corresponding sub-cycles.

THE MAJOR FOUR

FOUR NAMES PEOPLE CALL YOU (now)
01. Reggie (lahat. well, almost.)
02. Reg (people who are too lazy to say Reggie)
03. Bayanin (de Pedro, Zapanta, Tinio)
04. Gino (Tito Jon)

FOUR GUILTY PLEASURES
01.
02.
03.
04. Do I feel guilt???

FOUR FAVORITE THINGS
01. My N70
02. My images in my N70
03. Mirror or any reflective surface
04. Comb

FOUR SONGS YOU CAN LISTEN TO OVER AND OVER AGAIN
01. Passive - APC
02. The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get - Morrissey
03. Tuwing Umuulan At Kapiling Ka - Eraserheads
04. Bodies - Drowning Pool

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
01. Yahoo Mail
02. Tabulas
03. Yahoo
04. Monstersgame

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODs
01.
02.
03.
04. I won't do my food any justice if I named only four.

FOUR TELEVISION SHOWS YOU ENJOY WATCHING
01.
02.
03.
04. I don't watch TV shows now.

FOUR MOVIES YOU ENJOY WATCHING
01. My Sassy Girl
02. Il Mare
03. Hitch
04. The Classic

FOUR PLEASING IMAGES
01.
02.
03.
04. I have a lot of pictures. Should I name only four?

FOUR TYPES OF MUSIC YOU ENJOY LISTENING TO (basta wag dance music)
01. Alternative
02. Rock
03. Progressive Rock
04. Punk Rock

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
01. Crew Member at Burger King
02. Usher at the 2002 Women's World Volleyball Grand Prix
03. Student Assistant for the SFA office
04. Writer

FOUR THINGS YOU ENJOY READING
01. Novels
02. Short Stories
03. Blogs
04. Poetry

FOUR PLACES YOU'D RATHER BE NOW
01. Bed
02. Basketball Court
03. Korea/Japan/China/Singapore
04. 6 Feet Under

I spent the night at the onBooks office at Cara Celine's 12th floor. It was like any ordinary night. We had to stay up for work. There were four of us there. I was the first to hit the sack.

I woke up at around 9 or 10 AM. My officemates were just about to leave. I had no problem with that. So I bid them farewell. They left me with instructions about the office. Then I went back to my seat.

At around 12, I was almost done. So, I went around the office to check if the plugs were all out of their sockets. I saw a dead roach behind the TV. It was not like there was anything wrong with that. I was acustomed to seeing dead roaches, even crushed ones. However, this one was on its back, dead from insecticide, I thought.

I gave the office one final look from the door. I switched the lights and the airconditioning off. Then I made sure to not leave anything behind. When I opened the door, the nightmare started.

Mist began to envelop me. But this was no ordinary one. The smell was very familiar. It was used to kill insects. I know this because my father used to work for Makati's Sanitary Department; they regularly go around barangays to rid it of mosquitoes and roaches. Instinctively, I stepped out of the room. It was only then that  I thought of returning inside. But it was too late. The door was locked shut behind me.  I had no choice but to continue.

I got my hanky from my left pocket and covered my nose and mouth with it. I had to think and act fast. I held my breath. Who knows what effect the mist has on humans?

The mist was not that thick as I could still see the faint outlines of the walls, doors, and tables. I figured the elevator was non-operational. Surely no one would be inside the building at that time. I headed for the stairway. On an ordinary day, tenants were not allowed to use the stairs. This had to be an exception.

With the hanky still on my face, I went down the stairs as fast as my feet could take me. When I couldn't hold my breath any longer, I decided to breathe through my mouth. I had practically no idea what floor I was on. I just went down, and down, and down. At some point, the mist cleared up a bit.

I would have to reach the ground floor sometime, I thought. Then it hit me. What if the ground floor door was locked? I would be stuck in the stairway, only to be discovered when the mist clears up. I will die from suffocation. I will be that cockroach, lying on my back, lifeless.

No, I was not afraid at all. What I felt was more like excitement and fascination. I imagined myself, sitting at the bottom stair, holding a hanky to my face, and my head bowed down to submission. I am an insect after all, we all are. This would be a fitting end.

But I still continued down. I don't want to die this way. I refuse to accept the fact that we are nothing more than insects (although I know a few who are even worse than roaches). I reached the parking lot. I knew it was P4. I only had 4 flights of stairs before me. I was tired, partly because of the shortage of air and partly because I had come from the 12th floor.

P3.

P2.

P1.

The mist grew thicker again. Unlike the one on the 12th floor, I couldn't see anything. No outline. No stairs. Nothing. Everything was a similar shade of gray.

I had considered going back up for one final breathe of air before I take a dive into the sea of gray smoke. But I didn't. I relied on my sense of touch, taking a step at a time. Then I hit it. The floor was level. Touchdown.

I walked to the door. I felt the knob. It twisted. I was now in the lobby, standing in front of the elevator doors. From hereon, I trusted my memory. I went through the map in my head. There had to be a table here. A counter was over there. I had to go past these to get to the main door.

I walked. Inside my mind, I looked at the map. I closed my eyes. I am more comfortable with black than with gray. Then, I felt a flat surface in front of me. I got a hold of the handle, I pulled it. And I was outside once more.

The people there was shocked to see me walk out the doors of Cara Celine. They were even more surprised with what I did after.

I lit up and walked away.

What's done is done. (Again)

I wish for numbness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, about that OJT. Somewhere far? Cavite? Laguna?

Haha! As if I have a choice.

-----------------------------------

"Done! Done! And I'm on to the next one!" (See Current Song)

Nope. I don't think so. Hahaha.

Was not up for the night's festivities. Sure I was there, but I was certainly not part of it. Even my usual appetite was not present. Or was it because of the Kenny Roger's chicken I (we?) had for lunch? Haha.

Anyway, it was not that great to see familiar faces. I never felt like I was part of that publication in the first place. No organization came close to my heart other than Malate. It grows on you as you grow in it.

Here is a rundown of what had occured at Grappa's:

1. Bottomless Iced Tea
2. Bread Sticks
3. Salad
4. Soup
5. Lasagna
6. Fish Fillet and
7. Chicken (which I didn't finish by the way)
8. Cake (which I didn't get to taste)

Then, we were handed out souvenir shirts. Afterwards, I got my copy of the yearbook and started the long walk home.

Aboard the jeepney, this had struck me: We all have a black Green and White shirt. What a [pathetic,ugly,absurd,stupid] combination of color that would be.

... to walk away yet again.

And this time, I wish will it to be the last.

Gain power. Be influential. Reverse roles.

Someday, you'll know how it feels to be on the receiving end.