The Odd Number

So I got off work at around 9PM; it was still raining but I had to get home one way or another so Bugie and I left. We walked over to Greenbelt to have dinner at KFC. After that, we parted ways. Good luck catching a ride home so I walked. The streets were flooded and I was forced to take detours just so I won't have to wade through the waters (since I'm already drenched, why I even bothered, I don't know). At this point, I had taken off my jacket and placed it on my laptop bag for obvious reasons. So there, I went from Greenbelt to Makati Square, back to Creekside since Pasong Tamo was flooded, then to Buendia, and finally to Pasong Tamo, and then through several streets in San Antonio Village. When I got to La Paz, I had to take my shoes off after all. So much for the detours. As much as possible, I opted to put a smile on while walking in the rain.

So I got home. Fortunately, none of my electronic gadgets got wet so I put them down. Then I proceeded to wash my clothes and take a quick bath. And that was that.

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While lying down on my bed, I realized how much the character of my latest (idea for a) story is based on me. Just how much we had in common. This conclusion was brought about by two unanswered text messages. Then I remembered a friend who had said that words are useless. "Stupid, fucking words." Oh, how I hope the same applies to me. But no, so I'll try not to talk too much from this point on. Am I making sense here? Is my logic illogical? Is that even possible?

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My mom and I think the same with regards to tardiness. How so? She called me up this morning to ask me to go to my lola's house nearby because it's my great-grandma's first death anniversary. When I told her I'm already late, she said, "Late ka na rin naman e. Dumaan ka na," which is what I always tell myself.

It's just amusing to know (that I may not be adopted after all). Haha.

And I immediately answered with "rejection".

But that's not true, thinking about it now. Though I pride myself as independent and anti-social, I'm most afraid of being left alone.

I actually attempted to recall two of them one morning while getting ready for work, namely, The Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary. Out of curiosity perhaps? It's been years since I last recited them (well, any prayer, actually).

Here are my findings: I can't get past "As we forgive those who sin against us" on the former and "Blessed is the fruit of your womb" on the latter.

So yes, I am that far gone. Ah well. Haha.

Were those two years enough to dull desire? Or are we both practicing restraint, given how it all started between us? It's not that we got off at the wrong foot; that would be an understatement. It was more like we reached top speed in an instant and we hit a wall immediately after that and the impact left us shattered that even after more than two years had passed, we have yet to complete gathering the shards of that encounter?

Or is it just me? Again. As always.